I wrote this little number this morning at work:

Big prisms and small prisms and acetone cleaning

Cotton swabs and texwipes and chrome surface gleaming

Microscope lighting focused and zooming

These are a few of my favorite things

Out of the mists of time the question enters our minds like an ethereal visage whispering into out ears the undying question of those who have gone before us. When we wake, when we sleep, when we are walking a dog, the question lurks in the backs of our minds. We sit in class and listen to a teacher tell us about math, history, and science, but all we can think of is the question. This is the question: Do we want car insurance cheap?

Feb. 12 is Pancake day!

IHOP gives away free pancakes, only asking that you donate to a local children's hospital. I believe you get 3 pancakes.

No need to worry about Valentine's Day, just take your lover out two days early and not only get some free pancakes, but avoid the Valentine's Day rush of people and have a quiet evening on an even more special day, Pancake Day.

(So, it's real news, but all goofy anyways)

In relation to seating arrangements, remember the following tips:

Do not use banquet chairs on airplanes. They do not work as a flotation device.

Folding chairs are not the best choice for roller coaster seating, even with a good safety belt system. The high gravity pressures can fold the chair up and squish the occupant. This is never amusing for the occupant, even though they may be at an amusement park.

Wooden chairs are not the ideal choice for a carpenter ant convention. It may save on food catering costs, but each colony likes to have its own seat.

Never install a bar next to a lava floe without any commercial bar stools that are lava resistant. Customers cannot order drinks when falling into boiling lava.

Here is a good idea:

Visit Affordable Seating to purchase your chairs, booths, and stools for seating. The site offers a plethora of objects suitable for sitting on, such as the ones mentioned above, as well as many more. In addition to a well laid out site, they even offer on-line text chat help to their customers. So don't make the mistake of installing restaurant booths on your roller coaster, and check out Affordable Seating so you don't make the mistake of paying too much for seating.

Part one
Part two

I arrived at the Miskatonic University and parked my car. The guy who was following my drove past, staring at me. I ignored him for now, figuring that I'd be able to spot him easily later. I checked a class schedule and found a class that was just about to end called "Esoteric Texts". I found my way to the room to see several students filing out of the room. I took the liberty to walk in. It was empty except for the professor. He was an old man with eyes full of history. The chalkboard behind him had words, names of books I suppose, such as "Necronomicon" and "De Vermis Mysteriis". The professor looked surprised to see me. I introduced myself and started asking questions about Charles. It seems that Charles has a peculiar interest in a text called the "Pnakotic Manuscripts". It was way beyond me what it was all about, but Charles had done several papers on the text and particularity on a section of the text which mentioned strange art of healing using, God knows what the professor was talking about. Ancient races, magic, technology, I just wanted to find Charles and go home. I thanked the professor and decided who else I could talk too.

The rest of the professors had little to say. Charles had minimal interest in their classes, but I did note that Charles had few friends and did almost nothing but study. At the university library I learned that he tended to study books on old texts and arcane arts. I tried to read a few samplings from books from the type he read, but none of it made much sense to me. Before I left, the librarian, who seemed a little worried from not seeing Charles in a few days handed me a certain book that Charles had checked out many times. She said it might have some clues to where he might have gone. She said I was not supposed to take it off campus, but that if it helped me find Charles, I could so long as I promised to bring it back. As I made that promise, I glanced out the window to see the strange faced man who had been following me poking into my car. I decided to give him a visit and walked out the door.

To Be Continued...

And they are off! Coming around the bend, wheels screaming, the crowd is cheering, Number 51 passes three cars to gain the lead! It is the final stretch, Number 51 is racing ahead... YES! Number 51 one is the winner! There is the driver, he seems happy, he is! The crowd is going wild! My that is a giant grin he has. Now he is picking up his car, yes you heard me right, he is actually picking up his car! That is an amazing feat considering he is still holding onto his RC controller! This is an amazing day folks, an amazing day indeed.

We'll be right back!

Love RC Cars? Just started using them or plan on it soon? You just might want to check out this Introduction to RC Cars for Beginners. It has many tips for upkeeping your RC cars and tweaking them to run better so you can race with the big dogs. The most secret tips exposed! Have a hard time removing batteries from the chassis? Broken antenna tube? Does your car have a leaky shock? The most esoteric and hidden fixes and tips are all available at Presnukhin!

Were are back folks! A development has happened. It has just been discovered that the Number 51 car was using a fuel steroid and has been disqualified! What a thing to do, what a day when drug use has entered the realm of RC Car sports. A sad day folks, a sad day indeed.

Jin and Xiao ran through the forest, an army after them. They break into a clearing and realize they are surrounded. Brandishing blades and fists, they fight, but are losing the battle. With only seconds left to live, they are expecting to die, but something happens. From the trees weapons are thrown and curve into deadly trajectories and hit the enemies. Slice! A buttery pancake removes the head of a swordsman. Thuck! A pancake covered with syrup sticks into the chest of a pike man. Splat! A final pancake covered with peanut butter slams into the face of an archer, knocking him to the ground. They have been slain by members of the International House of Flying Pancakes.

Many villains make the mistake of sparing no expense when building and outfitting their hideouts, lairs, and centers for global domination. While this is not bad to do in general, some items should be purchased with certain things in mind, such as how often will they need to be replaced? One example of this is upholstery.

Due to the nature of lairs and hideouts, things can get messy. With so many spies sneaking in and henchmen ruining plans, upholstery can become damaged and stained easily. Spies are always sneaking about and may do things such as knocking out food servers to take their clothes, causing food to fall and stain floors and furniture, as well as fighting with henchmen can tend to get messy and the damage caused by swords and bullets is very costly to repair and it is very frustrating when highly expensive upholstery is ruined. Disposing of failed henchmen in blind rage also tends to leave messes that ruin upholstery.

Traps can also play a factor. Lets say you have a fancy rug over a trap door. Many times when the door is opened, the rug falls down into the trap as well. Since many of these doors lead to spike pits and shark infested waters, they rarely survive. Security lasers and flying blades also tend to burn and rip upholstery, especially when they are deflected off their normal course by trap savvy spies. It is wise not to use the choicest upholsteries in these areas.

To keep costs lower, Better Lairs and Deathtraps recommends you shop for discount designer upholstery fabric in the areas where damage to upholstery has a high chance of happening. This allows for lower costs is repairs and more money for evil schemes. After all, what good is taking over the world of your carpet is a mess?

A great resource to use when purchasing your fabrics is Design Diva Fabrics. Their site offers scores of different fabric brands, each with a myriad of designs and colors. Each design has large, high resolution photos, and even a pattern size estimate tool. You can put fabrics you might want later into your wish list if you would like as well. Another advantage is you can have more time for things like taking over orbital lasers or stealing government documents by doing your shopping on-line.

If on this coming Valentine's Day, if you do not have a valentine, you might be better off lonely than desperately searching for someone to be your valentine. Here are some personal stories of men and women who would have rather stayed in last Valentine's Day.

Margret, Transylvania
I was in such a tizzy last year because I didn't have a date for Valentine's Day. I even put an ad in the paper! I got a knock on my door and it was such a handsome young man I invited him right in. The next thing you know, I wake up with an aversion to sunlight and I crave blood all the time. I should have just went to bed early.

Robert, Antarctica
It was a lonely Valentine's Night at the research station. I was alone in the lounge when one of the female researchers came on to me. I should have known better, because she never had really liked me before, but I decided to make a quick dinner for us, but as I lit some candles, she turned into a ghastly beast and tried to kill me! If the spare flamethrower hadn't been nearby, I'd have been dead for sure. I had to flame her. Well, it wasn't really her, just an alien copy. The real one got mad when she found out I flamed 'her'. I spent weeks convincing everyone I was human. I should have just watched a scary movie.

Annie, at a hotel hosting a Star Trek Convention
I don't even need to explain. I should have just stayed in my room.

Charles, Colony Ship in Deep Space
It was getting really lonely in space. Back home it was Valentine's Day and I was light years away. I was awake out and about the ship for a week to make sure everything was o.k. while everyone else was in suspended animation. It was two days until I went back into my cryogenic bed to sleep. I turned on the scanners and heard the call of a Star Siren. I let her on board, and now I'm pregnant with some alien parasite! I should have just played chess against the ships computer.

These are just a few examples. Don't let loneliness cause any of these things, or something like it, to happen to you. It stinks to be lonely, but it could be worse.

Prologue -
All I did was steal a candy bar, break a window, bully some kid out of his lunch, and burn down an old folks home, and now I am going to have to go to one of those alternative high schools in Arizona. Arizona? What is in Arizona? I've lived in L.A. my whole life, and my parents want to send me to Arizona.

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I've been here at this school for several months now. I've made some friends, and I haven't got into trouble lately. I even sent a check to the grocery store to pay for the candy bar I stole. The one thing that is wrong about this boarding school is it isn't boring. I'm learning chemistry. My professor made me promise not to use the knowledge to burn more buildings down. I'm also taking physical education. I've lost almost 200lbs already! I thought I was going to hate this place, but I found that the people here really care about me. My life is changing.

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Epilogue -
I got my diploma two years ago, and now I am conducting research on unbreakable windows and defense technology to protect kids from bullies. My life is interesting and great!